Ring Fit Adventure (2019)
It's an event that's certain to quicken the pulse, and get any man a bit nervous and sweaty - the old relationship anniversary. You can't really get away with forgetting them in this day and age, I'm afraid. They're a bit like birthdays in that regard.
Perhaps you could get away with not knowing when your anniversary is, but only in very certain circumstances. Like if you've carved out a niche for yourself as a 1920s throwback husband, the type who comes home, takes off his hat, expects his dinner on the table and has his children living in fear of the belt's discipline. Fortunately, most of us are a little bit more emotionally developed than that nowadays.
So then, how best to blow your partner away with an annual show of love? Well, there are a few staples that will always serve you well. Flowers, chocolates (if your joint diet can support them) and an invite to dinner. Better than that is the classic whisk, an old weekend away, just the two of you.
Men, it's also a good idea to write her a very heartfelt card, because if she's a real keeper, then she will have done the same for you. You can't go wrong with any of this stuff - just so long as you remember the actual date. That tends to be a good start, old bean.
Outside of that, we can talk about those one-off presents. There are a few ideas here that can work and curry you a lot of favour, if you get the delivery right. That little kitty or puppy she always wanted is a great one to surprise her with. You could try this one at Christmas time as well, but it's not really a birthday thing - after all, a pet is for both of you to enjoy, right?
Getting her a little puppy on her birthday seems like a subtle way of telling her that it'll be up to her to look after the thing and take it on walks, and you're not altogether that interested. And anyone not interested in their household pet, especially one that brings their other half so much joy, is plainly hopeless as a boyfriend or husband, so do bear that in mind.
If you've already got a little creature or two running around the house, then fear not. If the two of you are not yet married, you could select the day of your anniversary as the date to finally propose to her. If real life were a video game, that kind of thing would probably garner you some bonus points.
But - and this is important - do not just use the marriage proposal as your only anniversary present to her. You'll need to proffer something else alongside it, even just a dinner date. That sounds extraneous, I know, but I don't make the rules, dear boy.
Apart from that, if you're still unsure on present ideas, I don't have much I can help you with. It might help if you have some idea on her interests and hobbies. Yeah, I know, I wouldn't have thought of that either. But apparently it shows that you listen and that you take an interest in what she says, and that sort of thing is Always A Good Idea.
But where we enter a real grey area, potentially very choppy waters, is the idea of anything to do with fitness. There is a tone here, a fine line to be walked. Get it wrong, by gifting her a gym membership or a weight loss book or something, and you'll both be left in despair.
It was for that reason that I was more than a bit hesitant in gifting my other half Ring Fit Adventure, the Nintendo Switch fitness game that comes with its own Pilates ring. I had just started to get her into video gaming, corrupting her in that sense, and we were talking about weight loss, watching our diet, attending the gym, all the rest of it. The usual stuff that couples talk about, as they make goals together.
I was browsing for some anniversary gifts, and of course, since my only frame of reference is video games, I found myself looking up and down the shelves for something I could get her into. I was surprised to see Ring Fit Adventure available for sale. I remembered it coming out in late 2019 into 2020, but you couldn't get them anywhere you looked.
The pandemic had set in, the gyms were closed, even the avenue of outdoor walking was limited (if you were a stickler for rules), and home exercise was the name of the game. As a result, you couldn't get Ring Fit anywhere, or at least not for a reasonable price; you'd have to be spending at least €120 to get your hands on it.
And what is it, really? I've bought fitness games from Nintendo before. Namely Wii Fit and its Balance Board, where the best exercise I got from it was lugging the thing home after shelling out 80 or 90 quid for it. What can a Pilates ring do for you really? Well, as it turns out, quite a lot.
Firstly, you need not worry about the ring being a flimsy piece of hardware that will break under your immense strength. I was worried about that, until I found a video of WWE Superstars trying their best to snap the thing in two, and they couldn’t manage it. Trust me, your fingers and knuckles will give out long before this ring does.
One of your JoyCons goes into the ring, with the other going into a leg strap that also comes bundled with the game. From there, there are several modes that you can get stuck into. The main draw is in the title of the game, the Adventure mode. And this really is an involved Adventure - a cute little plot, several characters, loads of worlds and levels, side-quests, upgrade trees with skill points, the whole lot.
It’s very involved; you could be playing the Adventure Mode in this game for weeks, months, maybe years. And I want to tell you that in terms of weight loss, gaining some strength and generally becoming more balanced, this game is the real deal. Just you try it for six weeks and tell me I'm wrong.
Gym bros, who for the most part are a very angry body of people, tend to shout at me when I talk about "getting more toned," but that's exactly what this game will do for you. Far from squawking at me and accusing me of calling her fat, my missus loved the idea of Ring Fit and went to try it that day. And the next day, and the day after that.
She really got into the Adventure Mode, but also the several fun and quirky minigames included as well. There are challenges, you can set your own reps, you can do a full yoga set, and there's even a rhythm game included. You can do some dancing and jerking and jumping to the Guardian theme from Zelda: Breath of the Wild. How heart-pumping is that?!
It's extraordinary how just a bit of jogging on the spot, jumping around, and then pushing and pulling on the Ring-Con can get you so sweaty and tired. Only the actual time you spend moving in this game is counted for your workout times and calorie expenditure, so don't think you can cheat the system here.
After you've done your daily warmup stretch, you can tell the game whether you want to increase or decrease the difficulty and intensity, but generally the game has a great handle on what exactly your level is. You are always just about capable of doing the exercises required to beat the enemy monsters you stumble across. It really is like an RPG, where you've got to watch your health, know what your next turn is gonna be, and know when to use items strategically.
People like my missus and I, we need that motivation. Something more than just getting up and going outside, especially in Ireland where it's inevitably windy and freezing. Gamification is a great way to get motivation going, and a lot of us had been waiting for something that would help us level up our exercise routine.
Wii Fit was too solitary, too gimmicky, too much of a wool-puller over our eyes. Pokémon Go is a great walking tool, no doubt. But in Ring Fit Adventure, I think we've found our miracle tool - something that makes exercise genuinely fun. And that makes it a pretty decent anniversary gift as well, as it happens.
9 March 2025
PSA: Do not preface this anniversary gift with the words, "I've been out ring shopping today...".