Why Star Fox 2 made the SNES Classic worth hoarding
Star Fox 2 (2017)
Star Fox 2 (2017)
In typical fashion, when the NES Classic was announced, I found a way to be snooty about it. Here was a wonderful, official little gizmo from Nintendo, with a good price point, perfectly replicated aesthetics, and heaps of retro goodness. It was the return of the original Nintendo. So how could I possibly look down upon it?
But you already know that’s a silly question, because nerds will look down upon anything to suit their own agenda. In this case, I already had a NES at home, plus a lorryload of games that were mostly rubbish anyway. So what was I missing out on?
The anticipation for the NES Classic was mighty, although I’m not too sure why. It’s crazy how Nintendo do it – people who never even had a Nintendo in their house suddenly wanted one, expecting it to fulfil all of their nostalgic dreams. You’re joking me, aren’t you?! Have you played Ghouls ‘n’ Ghosts?! Nostalgia must carry more buying power than gold.
Of course, Nintendo inevitably fuelled the demand for their retro console even further by purposefully making the supply low, although they always deny doing this. Anyway, no matter, you can easily pick one up now. And you won’t need to pay ghastly prices to get one from a hoarder or scalper, either.
Those scalpers were a laugh, weren’t they? They became some of the most hated people on nerd forums. One day, I saw a picture of someone with a literal wall of NES Classic boxes in his house. He had so many he could have made the Iron Throne out of them. Disgraceful scenes really, even if I admired his panache.
But lo and behold, I’m a hypocrite once again. A follow-up retro console was announced, the SNES Classic, and the list of included games was simply to die for. Well, they also included Super Ghouls ‘n’ Ghosts, but you had to expect a few turkeys.
Two controllers out of the box, great games, multiple save states, the choice of different visual options, and a lovely, small size – plus, very easily hackable if you so wished. Muggins here had 15 of its 21 games in physical cartridge format already. Muggins here bought the thing anyway.
I’m almost sad to report that I love the thing just as much as I thought I would. My old SNES controllers are a bit knackered, and using save states is a lot better than beating those games legitimately with passwords.
Also, those old cartridges don’t last forever. I’m pretty sure my Yoshi’s Island battery is buggered, so that saves me on the soldering. And its release meant that a whole new generation of gamer would see just how bad Kirby’s Dream Course was. Our pain from back then is now theirs, too.
There was one other extraordinary selling point of the SNES Classic, however, and that was the first official release of the hitherto cancelled Star Fox 2. A new Star Fox game, oh boy! Well, not so new, because we super-hackers had already played a leaked ROM of the game, which was 99% complete and just about matches this 2017 version of the game.
Unfortunately, Nintendo elected to cancel the original version right at the last minute, took large swathes of code from the product that Argonaut Software had delivered, and recycled it for 1997’s Star Fox 64 without giving the British boys so much as a mention in the credits.
A bit harsh, wouldn’t you say? Just when Argonaut were having a few celebratory drinks, the rug was pulled out from under them. But that’s what the Nintendo of old was all about – sheer ruthlessness. If any of the wags from Argonaut had piped up at the time, they probably would have conveniently disappeared. Or they’d be paid a visit by the guys with missing little fingers.
Well, we didn’t miss much anyway. We probably got a far better product in the shape of the N64 title. But who could say no to some gaming history? Legit for the first time, and with probably an even worse frame-rate than its predecessor, it’s Star Fox 2. Over twenty years in the waiting, it has to be absolutely incredible, right?!
Well, you’d certainly have to damn it with faint praise by calling it ‘different’. The typical Star Fox flow features you as everyman Fox McCloud, piloting an advanced space-fighter called an Arwing. You try to blow away enemies and save the galaxy, though you’re surrounded by dreadfully incompetent teammates that serve only to hinder you, never to help you. It was probably a biting comment on Japanese office life at the time.
I’m not joking though, your team are awful. I have to wonder if Slippy Toad is some kind of master at karaoke, and that’s why they bring him along, because he’s bloody useless as a fighter pilot.
Nonetheless, with your crew together, the original Star Fox game had you fight through levels full of enemy ships and bosses, blasting them to pieces while trying not to lose your wings. And eventually you’d come to the final battle against a ginormous monkey head called Andross.
Star Fox 2 subverts this flow in several interesting ways. To begin with, you don’t even have to play as Fox himself. So if you’re the type of discerning weirdo who always wanted to play as Slippy, maybe even fancied him, then now’s your chance.
And this time you only need to bring one gormless teammate with you, and this choice does matter because you’ll end up having to take control of the second Arwing if your first one gets bunged up too badly. Die once in this game and that’s your ship gone, so resource management is crucial.
But most startlingly, the game invokes plenty of strategy elements, something I hadn’t seen on the SNES before. In short, the clock is always ticking while you’re in flight, and your home planet of Corneria is getting a proper battering by the enemy monkeys. You’ve got to save the planet from enemy fire before it’s too late.
As a result, you’ll need to divide your time between shooting down missiles, confronting an early form of Star Wolf, and pestering your furry female teammates for nudie pics. Every battle in the game takes place in what later games would term ‘All-Range Mode’, and there’s enough randomness in Star Fox 2 to keep it fresh on multiple playthroughs as you strive for the top award, a Star Rank.
I mustn’t forget to mention the Walker. Do you recall the overused Walker mechanic they kept forcing you to use in Star Fox Zero? That came from Star Fox 2, and they hadn’t elected to bring it back in any other game, so you’d wonder why someone thought it a good idea.
You’ll be switching between the cool Arwing and the wretched Walker often, as you run, fly and run again through 3D environments, brought to you by the Super FX 2 chip.
This upgraded chip lent even more processing power to the SNES, although really this only had the questionable benefit of making the SNES look even less capable of handling 3D environments than it already was.
To prove my point, if you wear those old red-and-blue, early 90s 3D glasses while playing this game, it all gets so three-dimensional that you can actually get stabbed by some of the environmental polygons. I did it once and lost my eye on Andross’s face – it does happen.
Legitimate gamers have been waiting an awful long time for this game. I, the self-appointed demigod of retro gaming, was already well acquainted with it. But the length of time it took to bring this game to the masses barely matters because ultimately, Star Fox 2 is a pretty interesting piece; a nice sort of “what-if” gaiden scenario to complement the first game.
I love the first game, I always will. But I could hardly take offence if you peered at it for just 5 seconds, witnessed 10 frames on screen during that time, and said: “My God, that’s as depressing as it is ugly.”
Star Fox 2 isn’t too ugly, and it isn’t too depressing either, and it’s certainly fun in spurts. Ironically though, history has probably been kinder to its older, more playable brother. But that’s alright, there’s 20 other games on your SNES Classic, isn’t there?
12 April 2024