Why Super Smash Bros. Melee is officially dead... maybe
Super Smash Bros. Melee (2002)
Super Smash Bros. Melee (2002)
You may not believe it, but the website is dead. That's what all of us top tech bods are saying. Not just that, but mobile apps are dead too. The cinema is dead. Buying music, that's dead. Pubs are dead. And as for using your voice to talk to people - that's well into rigor mortis.
I don't personally believe any of this, of course, but it's sweeping statements like these that grab attention in marketing headlines, and they might just fool some gullible CEOs into dropping money on unproven new technology. Well, whatever about all that, it is my sad duty to inform you that the megapopular GameCube game, Super Smash Bros. Melee, is also dead.
That's a statement that’ll get a sizeable crowd of online fans foaming at the mouth. But you see, these days we only tend to talk about Super Smash Bros. Melee in the context of the many fighting game tournaments that feature the game.
These tourneys are pretty serious business too - we’re talking about pretty big venues, full of spectators, all cheering on their favourites. This all gets recorded and streamed, sometimes on TV stations. There's even a commentary team, for crying out loud.
The equipment used to compete in such a tournament is all very specialised, too - even today, over 20 years later, Smash Bros. Melee has never gotten any kind of re-release. This means your only option is the original GameCube game. If you've been wanting to buy this game recently, and you’ve found the price to still be an obnoxious sixty quid or more, then you can blame the pros.
They can't even use widescreen tellies, because there'll be a one or two frame input lag, which is enough to throw even the top Smashers right off their game. So, they’ve got to use hefty old CRT jobbies instead. And as you might expect, CRT TVs are a bit of an endangered species nowadays.
But what really finishes off a species, of course, is being actively hunted to extinction by man. And that's the fate that's gonna befall GameCube controllers, if any more of these dreaded Melee tournaments continue. You see, for every jumping, whooping, hollering victory celebration, known as a "pop-off" by us Smash wags, there's a not very gallant loser smashing his GameCube controller into the ground.
It's almost bizarre playing or even watching any kind of casual Smash Bros. Melee now, because we've become so used to the old stereotype of 1v1, Fox only, Final Destination, No Items. If you don't speak fluent Smash, then this means one versus one (at least tell me you understood that), and the only character allowed is Fox, who flies high at the top of the infamous Melee tier list.
The fighting stage is Final Destination, which is flat as a pancake, and no sudden hazards like Klap-Traps jumping out of the water and eating you. And no items either, which stops that terrible 0.1% possibility of a Bob-Omb spawning right on top of your head. If such an event were to occur, your legions of fans will only be able to look on in horror as both your character and your controller get launched into orbit.
But it's not as bad as all that - there are maybe eight viable characters for professional play. Wow, just 18 others going to waste, eh? There are more “tournament legal” stages than just Final Destination; I presume if you willfully chose a non-legal stage, the Smash Gestapo would have you naked and on all fours before you had the chance to scream "shine-spike".
But if you follow all the pro rules, you're gonna be missing out on 90% of the game - there’s all of the items, stages, and Pokémon you can use, and for God’s sake, the game is built for four player mayhem.
So how do we judge Melee? Well, there's no point going in at the top level. We’re not Smash Bros, and we’d presumably never head to some "eSport" tourney in Los Angeles to make up part of the very awkward crowd.
No, me and you are casuals with a bit of flair, right? And if I'm wrong, you might as well save yourself some time and just write me off now. Get the Twitter posse after me in their droves, and tell me that I mustn't disrespect the exalted Melee ever again.
Let’s go back to the beginning. Firstly, Melee is a game that represented a massive leap forward from the Nintendo 64 original. Smash 64 was good, but there's no question: this is one of the most improved sequels of all time. And in the most positive sense, Melee is very much a product of its time.
The game had some hype behind it prior to its release, but nothing like the ridiculous field of billions of angry sheep you see nowadays when a new Fire Emblem character gets revealed and the knives come out. Why couldn't it have been Goku, they cry?! Mate, back in our day we had 25 characters, including chaps who nobody had ever heard of, like the Ice Climbers, and we were happy.
Releasing in 2001, or 2002 for filthy Euros and Aussies, this game was definitely rushed and there are glitches aplenty. The game seems to be above criticism for this, especially when these glitches seem to just get adopted into a fighter's arsenal and demonstrated during top level play. Fans actually attacked the next game, Smash Bros Brawl, for not having enough glitches.
Melee was also released around that beautiful time when the internet was still only gaining ground, and image hosting was none too clever, to say nothing of video hosting. For game info, you were still reliant on magazines, and online text if you were fortunate enough to have dial-up internet.
So when the cheat codes sections of all of those classic, long dead gaming websites gave you tips on how to unlock Marth or Mr. Game & Watch, you were filled with wonderment. I knew Bowser, Falco, even Pichu. But who on earth was Roy, and what would he look like?
It was that kind of thing, the beautiful unknown, that added to the mystique of games like Smash Bros. Melee. This was all before the pox of datamining cropped up, from a time when rumours of an unlockable Sonic the Hedgehog could spread around the world, for months on end.
It hardly needs to be said that Melee is strongest as a local multiplayer or party game, but the 1-Player modes are actually quite good too. I think it has the best Classic mode of the series, and there was a slightly limited but very quaint Adventure mode that brought you through several of the game worlds - Zelda, Kirby, Metroid, even a desperate attempt at Ice Climber.
And even if this game’s next iteration brought ten times as many songs with it, the Melee soundtrack, with its orchestrations of even the more obscure tunes like Dr. Mario's Fever, was perfect for what it was.
I'll get savaged for saying it, I already know that, but Melee's time is pretty much over. It had a fabulous run, you know, even when its sequels came. Smash Bros. Brawl sold way more, but I don't think the Wii title ever managed to overshadow it. And Smash 4 Wii U just couldn't get enough traction.
That's not to say Melee is no longer playable or fun - quite the opposite. With Super Smash Bros. Ultimate though, you have everything you need from a Smash game, alone or with a group of eight players. Well, the netcode is still bad, but what can Sakurai-san do to cover for Nintendo's lapses there?
Super Smash Bros. Melee has finally been superseded, then. But next time you get a chance, do fire it up for some casual play, and watch what's probably the best intro movie in gaming.
As you Press Start, and that unforgettable Menu music starts playing, you can begin to bask in that warm glow of nostalgia, as you try not to get too affected by the fact that your childhood is gone forever. That sort of thing is bad for mindgames, see. And in professional Melee, a bad mindset means your demise, as well as your controller’s.
17 May 2024